A Family's Heartbreak In Loving Memory of Joan Marie Varley 2/14/1968 – 10/26/2006 by Meghan Gonoude

I'm writing this to make everyone aware of the heartbreak homicide causes, not to just the family of the victims, but also to those who knew the victims. Hearing of a loved one's death really shakes you. You begin to think, but when you're thinking, your thoughts flood you. You can't really decipher anything, and it's like torture to your brain. Your first thoughts are "who, what, when, where, why, and how". Nothing makes sense until sometime later, when you've been able to settle down. Unfortunately, my family and I experienced this feeling in late October. I hope nothing like this happens to any other family.

On October 26, 2006, my cousin, Joan, was brutally murdered at her job in Reno, Nevada. Coming from a rather small and close family, the news startled us. Apparently, Joan was working at her apartment complex in downtown Reno, when one of her tenants attacked her with a dumbbell. It was horrible news for my family to hear, and I'm sure that many of us wished it was a nightmare, and that we'd wake up, and Joan would be perfectly fine. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case.

Joan was the kind of person who made everyone smile. It didn't matter how upset you were. As long as you could see, or talk to Joan, you felt better, and knew you'd be fine. Joan was very enthusiastic in my life, and almost always backed me up when I needed her to. If I ever had a problem, I knew I could count on Joan to help me make sense of everything. Just hearing her voice made everything a little clearer. Everyone who came into contact with Joan instantly fell in love with her. Her inner and outer beauty overpowered people, and gave them a quite uplifting feeling. No one ever had anything bad to say about Joan, which made her untimely death even more mysterious.

Joan lived out in Reno, Nevada, where her mother, Mary, resides. Joan was very close to Mary, and spent a lot of time with her. Joan drove for hours at night to visit her sister, Joyce, and her brother-in-law, Derrick, as well as Joyce and Derrick's two adorable daughters, Samantha, 5, and Kyla, 1. They reside in California. Unfortunately, Samantha and Kyla might never get to experience the essence of their aunt. She'll have to live on through photographs, as well as the stories we hold close to our hearts. Joan was very close to her family. She frequently called my parents, grandmother, and me, since we lived across the country. She always remembered holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and would send us cards for each one, always with a cheerful note, and her infamous signature, which included a smiley face worked into her name. You'd always be happy after receiving a card from Joan.

I spoke to Joyce, Joan's sister, recently, and asked her what she thought about Joan, and what had happened. This is what she had to say:

"In terms of what happened, I think the hardest part is knowing that I couldn't be there to protect my baby sister. All our lives, Joan and I were always there for each other. Even though we are two totally different people, Joan would always support me and I tried to do the same.

It turns out that Joan called me just minutes before it happened. I was trying to take a nap and sleep is such a commodity that I was too lazy to get up and answer my cell phone. Instead, I let it go to voicemail. After a few minutes, I decided I better check on the message and I heard Joan telling me she just wanted to tell Samantha and Kyla how much "auntie" loved them. I still didn't call back. I heard from mom later that night that Joan had been killed. As we drove up to Reno, I suddenly remembered the call and I immediately burst into tears. I know that I can't change what happened but it will always be in the back of my mind that had I not been so lazy and if I had answered the phone, things may have turned out differently.

I always wondered how people get through things like this and counted myself lucky as not having to know - until now. In all honesty, Joan was so strong in her belief in God and Jesus that I know she's in a much better place. That has truly been a blessing - my belief in God. I decided I would not allow the man who killed Joan to kill me too. That would serve no purpose and indeed, if we believe in God, there is a reason for her death. I try to look at the circumstances surrounding her death and it seems that, if I believe what the detectives have told us, Joan never knew it was coming and hopefully didn't suffer. Maybe that was God's way of taking her and protecting her at the same time.

I have made a conscious decision not to attend the trial. I will be there for sentencing. Again, there is no reason for me to have gruesome pictures and evidence imprinted in my mind. I do not necessarily wish for the death penalty. I have to believe that God was/is at work and will deal with the man in his own way and time. I do hope the man never sees the light of day and is never allowed to hurt someone again."

Many people felt the same way about Joan. We all share the belief that she was an energetic, kind, helpful, and willing spirit. Here are some excerpts taken from Joan's memorial site:

• She was a lovely person with a beautiful smile.
• I will always remember Joan's beautiful spirit. Sweet, wonderful person who always made me smile.
• I hope I can touch as many lives as warmly as she has done. She is an inspiration to us all.
• I was deeply saddened to hear of such a tragic loss of a woman with such a beautiful, peaceful, and kind spirit.
• Joan was a beautiful person with an uncanny ability to put a smile on your face.

Throughout my life, I believe that I had taken Joan for granted. Not in a bad way, of course, but in the sense that whenever I needed someone to talk to, I'd rely on Joan. I did this because I always knew she'd be there for me. I always knew she'd pull through for me. No matter what the situation, Joan knew exactly what to say, and when to say it. Joan was the light at the end of the tunnel for many people, including me. Losing Joan was like losing a part of myself. The old saying is true: You never know how much someone means to you until you lose them. I found that out the hard way.

The apartment complex that Joan owned and managed was to assist AIDs patients to have suitable living space. Joan took pride in what she did. She was a very generous person, and had a heart bigger than anyone I know. The reason behind her interest in the apartment complex was evidence of this. Joan would be happy to help anyone who needed it, despite their past history. Shortly before her murder, a non-profit organization brought Jeffery Randall Sims into her office to see if he could call River's Edge home. Mr. Sims was fresh out of prison for misdemeanor crimes, such as robbery. Out of the kindness of her heart, Joan accepted Mr. Sims. Two weeks later, Mr. Sims allegedly entered her office, and committed a crime that would forever scar my family. He's since been arraigned, and the prosecutors are considering the death penalty against him.

Mr. Sims' apparent motive was that he needed money to support his drug addiction. After allegedly murdering Joan, he took her purse and car, and proceeded to meet a man at an adult bookstore. He allegedly beat that man, and robbed him as well. The man survived. Sims then allegedly drove Joan's car past the scene of her murder, and led police officers on a short chase. He was later found at a motel visiting a friend.

Newspapers in Reno were all over the story. Recent articles, such as the one below from KRNV, used explicit vocabulary, describing what happened to Joan. It hurt a lot to read the words used, but they made everything much clearer. The article reads:

A 34-year old man has been arraigned on a murder charge stemming from the October bludgeoning death of his Reno apartment manager.

Jeffrey Sims awaits a March 2008 trial date after pleading not guilty Friday in Washoe County District Court.

Prosecutors say they would consider whether to seek the death penalty against Sims, who was paroled from prison for a Clark County burglary conviction two weeks before 38-year-old Joan Varley was struck with a dumbbell in her River's Edge Apartment office.

She was found with head injuries October 25th and died a short time later at a hospital.

A local HIV and AIDS organization provided Sims with housing at Varley's complex, which she owned with her mother.

Varley had been a substitute teacher in the county school district. Previously, she had gone to Hollywood and played bit parts, including working as a double for Lisa Kudrow, a star on the hit television show "Friends."

In Reno, Varley acted in plays with the Reno Little Theater.

Sims was arrested at the Reno motel where her stolen car was found.

I truly hope that I have succeeded in my effort to make you all aware of the consequences and feelings that a murder in your family brings upon you. They're some of the worst emotions in the world, and I sympathize with those who have already experienced them.

Jeffrey Randall Sims, the man accused of killing Joan. We need to put men like him away for good, so they cannot hurt another family by killing another innocent person. Editor's Note: Jeffrey Sims was convicted of 1st degree murder on August 12, 2008. He will be sentenced October 7, 2008.

Joan's Memorial Page
Reno Little Theater's Home Page